Monday, April 11, 2011

Some Things I Learned in Combat

False motivation is still motivation!

If Gunny says, "Don't do it," someone will.

An empty house is a safe-house.

Never piss off your Corpsman.

Night-vision goggles require light to operate.

If you don't know where you are, the enemy does.

The extension will come as soon as you pack your gear.

"Help!" Is not a proper situation report.

Never trust a radio operator.

"Errr," is the proper response to everything.

Many dependent wives are not dependable.

The site count is never up.

Interpreters do not speak English.

Dear John letters are good for morale when read out-loud.

The MRE beef tastes like the MRE chicken, neither are beef or chicken.

If you follow the instructions you can heat an MRE by leaning the cardboard pouch on "A Rock or Something."

A rat-fuck is good if you’re pulling one; A goat-fuck is bad if you’re in one.

If it requires batteries to operate it’s already broken.

If you don’t know what it is, set it on fire.

Foreign troops will always pull the trigger to test the safety.

The only thing you weren't forced to do was sign the contract.

Combat is not a videogame!...

You cannot accurately hip-fire an M-203 grenade launcher.

There are no respawns in combat.

Auto aim is off.

Friendly fire is on.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the hearty laughs to start the day! This blog rocks.

    ReplyDelete